B
Bert Barnes
Guest
I found this on another site and had to post it.
Bert
The Seven Stages of Aging on Dirt Bikes
Stage I: Fall off mini bike. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
Stage 2: Fall off dirt bike. Run after dirt bike, cussing. Climb back on. Ride until sundown.
Stage 3: Fall off dirt bike. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on dirt bike. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
State 4: Fall off dirt bike. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on dirt bikes. Back to riding before cast comes off.
Stage 5: Fall off dirt bike. Temporarily forget names of children and name of spouse. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.
Stage 6: Fall off dirt bike. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, â??You again?â? Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isnâ??t that noticeable. Promise spouse youâ??ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter dirt bike.
Stage 7: Slip off dirt bike. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell the spouse that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you donâ??t see said spouse roll eyes and mutter as she walks away.
What stage are you at?
Bert
The Seven Stages of Aging on Dirt Bikes
Stage I: Fall off mini bike. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
Stage 2: Fall off dirt bike. Run after dirt bike, cussing. Climb back on. Ride until sundown.
Stage 3: Fall off dirt bike. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on dirt bike. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
State 4: Fall off dirt bike. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on dirt bikes. Back to riding before cast comes off.
Stage 5: Fall off dirt bike. Temporarily forget names of children and name of spouse. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.
Stage 6: Fall off dirt bike. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, â??You again?â? Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isnâ??t that noticeable. Promise spouse youâ??ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter dirt bike.
Stage 7: Slip off dirt bike. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell the spouse that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you donâ??t see said spouse roll eyes and mutter as she walks away.
What stage are you at?
